Choose you. Choose joy.
Hey loves!! I hope you are thriving this week.. but even if you’re just surviving, that’s okay too. Just know that the tide will turn soon 🫶🏽
As for me.. I’m gona keep my transparency promise to you all. — ya girl was f*cked up. The last two weeks, I had hit a low. I cannot tell you how many times I cried because I lost count, but I do know that I cried almost every day. Struggling with depression and anxiety is HARD AF… some people just make it look easy.
I had some conversations recently with a few people very close to my heart and each one left me with a word—
Person 1 told me that I have been on autopilot since they met me in 8th grade… and that I soldier through all of life’s challenges and never ask for help.
Person 2 told me that I have paid my dues to literally everyone in my life and it’s time that I pay dues to myself.
Person 3 told me that they can see I found myself and they can tell that my healing journey is working.
All three people have known me for almost my entire life. Their words weighed heavily on my heart (and still do). I teared up hearing/reading what they said for several reasons, but mainly because I actually felt seen after YEARS of feeling like I was struggling silently.. & also because sometimes I have felt so guilty for choosing to put myself first and I feel like God was using then to tell me that it’s okay.
I’ve come to realize a few things about that though:
Choosing yourself is necessary. If you keep putting everyone else first, you eventually become last.. and you’re teaching others to put you last too.
Choosing yourself speeds up your healing. Although healing is definitely not a linear process and doesn’t have a final destination, choosing to put yourself first helps you to prioritize your healing.
Choosing yourself should be guilt-free. You should never feel guilty about making sure that you are the best version of yourself. We all have people that need us, but we gotta remember that we need ourselves too!
Choosing yourself doesn’t mean that you have to do everything alone. Asking for help is okay! People need other people.
Choosing yourself sometimes means you have to withdraw from people. Even those closest to you (your greatest loves, your best friends, your parents, etc.). You may not have the words to tell them exactly how you’re feeling, but you can simply say, “Right now I’m not okay. I’m trying to get back to myself. I will check in when I’m able to”. In turn, those meant to be a part of your journey will respect your boundary, but they will also check in periodically & you need to be honest with them when they do those check-ins!
Let’s focus on better mental health, filling our cups, and being better versions of ourselves. A lot of us need to spend some time healing our inner child. It’s time to do the work 💪🏽
Until next time; Be YOU. Do YOU. LOVE YOU 💜
