A Sunflower Among 80,000 Tulips
[Original post 6.18.2020]
According to the Internet, we encounter about 80 thousand people in a lifetime. We can trust that tidbit of information because the Internet never lies, right?!
Out of those 80k, there will be a select few who will leave their footprints on our heart. Some good, some bad, but either way they’re there.
Today a man I knew and loved would have turned 29. I haven’t heard his infectious laugh, felt his loving embrace, or gotten a text saying, “glad you made it home safe” in almost 2 years. Losing him not only tore a hole in his loved ones hearts, but in our small town as well. To me, it still feels like we just lost him.
I referred to Eddie as My Hubby. We always said we were the black Will & Grace. We had a pact that if we both reached age 35/36 and were still childless and single, we’d have a kid together. We never argued, but he would quickly get my life together when I was about to make some stupid decision and he never let me forget my worth. To call him a gem would be an understatement.
I miss our sushi dates. I miss our late night talk sessions. I miss his smile. I miss hearing his stories about traveling. I miss popping up at his house randomly. I miss talking about life with him. I miss everything about him.
Have you ever encountered someone that you knew was too good for this Earth? Someone who was so wise beyond their years that you knew they had either been here before or that they wouldn’t be here long because Heaven would eventually realize one of their angels was missing? That’s how I felt about him.
He was so brave. He stood his ground in everything he believed in but he was also willing to be educated if he was wrong. He respected everyone but would be quick to remind you not to disrespect him or anyone else. He was one of the best people I knew.
I pray that out of the 80,000 people you’ll encounter in your lifetime, you find someone with at least half the heart that My Hubby had. Someone who pushes you to travel. Someone who pushes you to heal. Someone who pushes you to grow and learn. Someone who is a sunflower in a field of tulips.
Not only do I pray you find someone like that, but I pray more that you BECOME someone like that. This world is dark enough, we need more rainbows. We need more hope. We need more people fighting for what is right. We need more people who get the most joy out of being themselves and inspiring others to do the same.
Today, on his birthday, I will feel the tears stain my cheeks…. but those tears will signify the happiness my heart feels from having him in my life. Because of him, I am stronger. I hold myself accountable. I love myself and others more. I travel. I enjoy nature more. I live life with no regrets.
Today, I will think back on the last day we spent together. We had so much fun taking my goddaughter and bonus daughter to the zoo. I’m smiling writing this now because I thought about how some little kid was on a leash and you HATED when people put their kids on leashes.
Today, I will look back at three of my notes in my phone. One from 2012:
one from a great, unforgettable time with you and Jill, and one from the first time you visited me in my dreams. I will never delete them. When I get sad, I know I can always look back at them and remember all the great moments we shared.
I thank God for allowing you to be one of my 80,000 and I thank you for being our sunflower Eddie.
Taken by Eddie 8/3/18
Happy birthday in Heaven baby! May God loan us more angels here on Earth. We most certainly need them. I’ll be thinking of you extra on Sunday when I’m loving my best life in the middle of a sunflower field 🌻
Until next time; Be YOU. Do YOU. LOVE YOU💜
