[Original post 5.20.2020]

Nowadays it seems like everyone is either an entrepreneur, trying to be one, or knows one. It’s like the masses woke up & decided, “I’m going to do what makes me happy because life is short & there’s no point in living a sucky one”. Kudos to y’all!

I don’t consider myself an entrepreneur but my man definitely is. He has a sneaker store & a hair salon, and he’s always trying to find ways to give back. I love him for that but I also hate it. 

Before you clutch your pearls & gasp in astonishment, let me explain.. 

In the beginning of our relationship he was working nights & I worked mostly days. We spent time together during my one weekend off a month or during the mornings I didn’t work. Once he saved enough money, he found his first location for his sneaker store & that’s when I began to hate his ambitious side. He would work 4PM-2AM at his job, come home and sleep til about 9AM, then go put in work to get his store together until about 2 or 3PM before going back to his regular job.

What little time we use to have was nonexistent unless I went with him to the shop and I hated going to the shop. Don’t get me wrong, I was (and still am) so proud of him for making his dreams a reality, but I was bitter because I felt like I wasn’t getting the time or attention I needed.

Fast forward to the present and I can honestly say that I still feel myself being bitter from time to time but I have realized a few things:

1. I shouldn’t feel guilty for being upset sometimes because I’m entitled to my emotions. Yes, sometimes I’m just being a brat. There are other times though when there just needs to be a healthier balance of time management.

2. Being with an entrepreneur means there will be a lot of time that they’re focused on other things / ideas but that doesn’t mean the relationship is an afterthought. Everything they do is in regards to their future. If you trust that you’ll be with them in the future, then you need to trust their process & make sure that you’re their safe space when they want to turn their brain off and just be.

3. Less time and attention does not equate less love. However, it does mean that the time shared together should be extra special. Sometimes I just have to be vocal and say, “I need you to clear your schedule this Friday after 6PM because I need your undivided attention” and that’s okay!

Being in a relationship is hard as hell anyway, but being with someone who has to make themselves available to people a majority of time as well, is frustrating. You want to love & support them, but you also want them to not be so available to others. You want them to be more selfish with their time, but you also see the joy they get from doing what they love. You want more time & attention, but you also know that a lot of entrepreneurs are burning the candle at both ends. It’s a lot of buts!!

I said all that to say this: Dating an entrepreneur is not for the weak!!! 

Hell, dating period is not for the weak. It’s a lot of growth…and growth can be uncomfortable. Navigating through self-growth is muddy so if you can’t handle that, navigating through relationship growth is going to feel like quicksand. 

Here’s my two cents:

• If you’re dating an entrepreneur, be patient but also be vocal about what time you want set aside, whether it be weekly/ biweekly/ monthly.

• If you are the entrepreneur in the relationship, try your best to keep the times set aside for your partner. Sometimes, we just want to be able to watch you take a break because we see you working so hard.

To my entrepreneur: Thank you for everything.

Until next time; Be You. Do You. LOVE YOU 💜