[Original post 10.14.2019]

So, this past week was super emotional for me. A lot happened, including the loss of a family member. Trying to console a loved one (or anyone) when you haven't gone through their situation before.. whew! Sometimes all you can do is just be present for people.

That brings me to my topic: how to love yourself through depression. When going through depression we all experience it differently. For me, it's always been a tug of war within me between wanting to go back to who I was pre-depression and wanting to be an entirely different person post-depression. I've come to realize, neither is possible. I've got to find a happy medium.

I'm still trying to figure it out but here are a few things that have been helping me:

1. Be present -- Try not to always focus on your past or get too caught up planning your future. It can cause so much anxiety thinking about either one for too long. Instead, focus on the now.

2. Look in the mirror often -- This was and still is very hard for me because I don't always like what I see. I've gained weight, cut my hair, and my skin has changed. I lost a lot of confidence in myself but the more I force myself to look in the mirror, it's slowly coming back.

3. Tell yourself (whether internally or aloud) "I Love You" -- I know it seems trivial but it's actually very important. Think about it, on average how many people to do profess your love to each day? Why aren't you one of those people? I read something once that said, "Make a list of all the people you love. If you weren't on the list, you have some healing to do".

4. Clean -- Hear me out.. I'm definitely a clean person but I'm also the person who lets dirty clothes pile up & won't deep clean the bathroom for two weeks because I'm just emotionally drained which leads to me being physically drained. Today I spent the entire morning doing laundry, going through all my clothes to give some away, and cleaning my room. When my room is decluttered, so is my mind.

5. Get fresh air -- A daily dose of fresh air helps me to feel at ease. I purposely eat lunch in my car every day just so I can escape work for a little bit and regroup if I need to.

Some days I wake up ready to conquer everything life is throwing at me, other days it's hard to even get out of bed. What I do know is that life is full of uncertainties so why should I add on to that list by being unsure of my love for who I am? I am beautifully flawed and learning a little more each day how to walk in my own shoes on my own path to happiness.

Until next time; Be You. Do You. LOVE YOU 💜