Hey friends!! I hope you’re feeling as positive about 2024 as I am! 🙂 If not, I hope your perspective changes.

I had a conversation with my cousin the other day and I honestly don’t know who needed it more— me or him. Ever since we talked, one word has been embedded in my brain: PERSPECTIVE. By definition it means a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; point of view. A lot of people tend to be stuck in their ways which can make them feel like their perspective is permanent.. but they’re wrong.

Okay, so I’m a huge empath (in case you couldn’t infer this from my posts). It wasn’t until I hit my 30s that I began to see it as my superpower. I can often look at situations and can feel for the “villain” because a lot of them had a lousy hand that they were dealt. Now I’m not saying that I excuse bad behavior, I’m just able to understand the reasons behind it sometimes. (I wasn’t always this way though.)

I’m sure there are some shitty situations that you’ve been through or shitty people that you’ve encountered. Hell, sometimes we are the shitty people and we cause the shitty situations! It can be hard to see when you’re in the thick of it, but it’s possible to train yourself to shift your negative perspective.

Here are some ways:

1. Pause— Just take a beat. Not every action needs a reaction. While your pausing, decide which move, or lack-thereof, is necessary.

2. Ask questions— Even if you can’t directly ask anyone, ask yourself. Examples can be, “Is this something catastrophic?” “Does it really affect my well-being?” “Will this matter in the grand scheme of things?” “Do I know them well enough to understand why they move they way that they do?” Then respond accordingly.

3. Go to therapy— Ya’ll should know by now that I’m going to advocate for people going to therapy until I’m blue in the face; especially POC! Therapy helps us to unpack all the stuff we suppress & in our unpacking we are able to see why we look at things the way that we do.

4. Sleep on it— Those that know me, know that I love a good nap! In all seriousness though, sometimes if we sleep on things we can see it from a fresh point of view the next morning.

5. Pray about it— Everything comes back to religion for me, but if you’ve read any of my other posts before, you already know that. Pray for discernment. Pray for wisdom. Pray for peace over situations.

A lot of people are also quick to pass judgement based on their point of view. It’s easy to do when you’re not in the situation or don’t know what the person has been through in life. (Also, some of us just have control issues and that leads to us to pass judgement harshly and quickly.) But to quote my fav Christopher Brown, “I don’t see how you can hate from outside the club? You can’t even get in!”. In other words— STOP SPEAKING ON THINGS/PEOPLE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.. because you’re not seeing things through their lens.

The bottom line is this: Everything we experience in life can be beautiful if you just adjust your perception. I mean, maybe that cashier was rude as hell because the customer before you was rude as hell. Maybe that customer before you was rude as hell because they just got an eviction notice and their pissed at the world now. Maybe you’re no longer close with certain people/family members because you asked God to remove people that no longer served you and He did. Maybe the house buying process is at a standstill for you because the house that is for you hasn’t been built or put on the market yet.

Try to look at people and situations through a lens or grace, but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate foolishness (especially if it’s before noon!).

Until next time; Be YOU. Do YOU. LOVE YOU 💜