Hey friends!! Hope you’ve all been well.

As for me, I’ve spent the last 6 months really pouring into myself. Growing.. processing.. healing.

Back in May, my therapist and I decided that I needed a break. So I partnered with my manager (and friend) and my HR department, and my therapist signed off on me being out of work for 6 weeks. During that time, I really focused on doing things that I wanted/needed to do and saying no to everything that wasn’t those things. I cried a lot, slept a lot, traveled, ate good food, and laughed as much as I could.

Once the 6 weeks was up, I returned to work feeling as though I could breathe a little. Now that we’re into the fall season though, some days I feel like I’m back where I started in May (thanks to seasonal depression, mainly). I’ve had less energy and less of an appetite… but what I do have is more tools to help me navigate the hard days.

I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it a million more times— Healing is NOT linear. It’s actually hard as fuck! One day, you can be fine and the next you can be a complete shitshow because something triggered you.

The past few days have been a shitshow for me personally. My anxiety has been at a smooth 8 on a scale of 1-10, which means my eating and sleeping habits are completely out of wack because my anxiety festers in my stomach. I’ve been sorting through my emotions, having insightful conversations with my mother, exercising, and resting when I’m tired.

Trying to work on your healing and having anxiety is quite complex. Mainly because healing forces you to really sit with your shit and sort it out, but then you’re anxious having to face your issues because you don’t know the outcome.

I’ve come to realize that a lot of my anxiety stems from childhood and my “good girl” complex of never wanting to make a mistake or let anyone down.. but I’m learning to accept that I can only truly please myself and that most people navigate the world that way. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to be completely for self, but it does mean that I can give myself permission to be selfish.

Life is hard enough without us being hard on ourselves. So here are some things I’ve been practicing to help me along my healing journey:

• Giving grace— To others, but mainly to myself. We will never be perfect humans, but we can be compassionate ones. We owe ourselves the compassion we give others.

• Enforcing boundaries— Say no, and mean it. Stay home if you don’t want to go out. You don’t want to discuss certain topics, don’t. If you don’t feel like dealing with someone, don’t. Remember, no is a full statement.

• Save all your fucks for magical shit— I came across this one day and it’s stuck me ever since. Easier said than done, yes. But ultimately, if it something we can change or something that we’re passionate about, accept it for what it is.

• Rest— Although it’s pretty self-explanatory, we have to remember that rest isn’t just about sleep. Take breaks from things as often as you deem necessary. Sometimes people/ places/ things can be quite draining and we just need a quick second to walk away.

• Pour into your passions— Feed the things that ignite you. Sing, paint, exercise, write, dance, cook, have nap dates with your best friend.. do all the things that bring you joy. Doesn’t matter if you’ve mastered them, what matters is how you feel when you’re engaged in them.

What it boils down to is this:

Figure out what makes you happy and do that shit! Life is full of cruelties, but it’s also full of beauty. Healing is about learning to turn your scars into masterpieces over time and I hope we all get our Basquiat’s.

Until next time; Be YOU. Do YOU. LOVE YOU 💜